Who me? Y’all know I love making some to-do lists!
Well, I don’t really love the lists. It’s more of a love-hate relationship: I love not having the things I need to do rattle around in my brain and making me worry that I’ll miss something important, but I hate having this intimidating long list of things to do right in front of me on paper. That’s why I usually just keep a list of what I think I have to do today with me, and I mostly use my calendar for appointments and my work schedule. So what I did this week was very strange and a little intimidating and a very big experiment. Keep reading…
I like to think of myself as very efficient because I do a lot. I always have a running list of things to get done and I tend to fit them in where I can (before a hospital shift, during lunch time, early in the morning before the kids get up). Isn’t that how busy people get stuff done? So when i listened to a new coaching podcast by Brooke Castillo this week on getting rid of the to-do list, I was intrigued. Now, I had no intention of doing whatever she suggested. My to-do list keeps my life running. If I dumped it I’d miss a bunch of stuff, or my mind would spin out into incessant reminding me of what I need to get done at 3 am and I’d never sleep again! And since I like sleep and it’s easier for me to be nice when I’m rested, I’d rather not listen to my brain worry about what stuff I have to do if I could just write it all down and get some sleep. But, Brooke has been pretty insightful in other areas, so I decided I’d give this podcast a listen.
Interestingly, she starts by having you begin your week by writing a to-do list. But not the way I do it – by writing everything you can think of needing to do down, preferably on paper. If you are thinking about adding to your Christmas decorations and wanted to pull out the old ones to check on what you already have before you go shopping (even though it’s October and we haven’t even had Halloween yet!), that goes on the list. Write everything down, and when you think you’re done, ask your brain, “What else?” Do that until you can’t think of another thing.
It just kept growing and growing…
Then eliminate everything you don’t want to do.
Yeah, that seems hard. But if you’re going to do all these things, you’d better do them because you want to. Remember – you don’t have to do anything. You don’t even have to pay your taxes. You could have a lien put on your house or go to jail instead. Now, you can say, “Well, that means I have to pay my taxes or I’ll go to jail!” You could also choose to think, “I want to pay my taxes because I prefer to stay out of jail.” Subtle, but different. Which thought makes you feel more in control and peaceful? You get to choose the thought that serves you.
So go through the list and eliminate what you don’t want to be there. Think about what you really want and keep those things. Then here comes the hard part (What, the last part wasn’t hard enough?!). Put everything on your calendar. It doesn’t matter if you want to use a paper or electronic calendar, just fit it all in there. Assign the time you think it will take and then commit to when you’ll do it on calendar.
I can hear you now – what if I don’t know how long it will take? Pick the amount of time you think it will take to do the task and write it down. Here’s the challenge: Get it done in the time you set aside. You may want to get a task done absolutely perfectly and up to your highest standard. Resist the tendency toward perfectionism. B- work that gets done is better than A+ work that doesn’t. I know, you’re an A student. But is that getting the work done? Wouldn’t you like to have the clothes put away instead of waiting until you can completely reorganize the closet?
Here’s the final (and hardest step). Leave the list you made on paper and work from your calendar. Brooke says to throw away the list, but since this was my first week and I wrote it in a notebook I’ve been wanting to use, I didn’t trash my list (but I have been working only from my calendar). This is the key: Do what you scheduled when you scheduled it and use the time you allotted. Now, you are going to be tempted to want to do other things in the time you’ve scheduled to do the task. Facebook will be very attractive, you will get a phone call/text/email notification, you’ll remember you need to soak the beans for dinner right this minute. Do not allow distractions. Respect the time you planned with your rational brain and don’t let your primitive brain hijack the plan! That part of your brain will not want to stick with the plan and will try to get you to do something that seems better in the moment.
That’s what happened to me when I was scheduled to write this post. I didn’t want at all to get up early and write. It was dark, cold, and I was sleepy. All my brain kept telling me was that I had a whole day off and I surely could sleep a little longer and still get everything else done! Fortunately, my rational mind told me that I knew my brain would resist when I had to do something hard, and for some reason I scheduled myself this way. I had to trust that I did this to myself for a good reason. And now that I’ve gotten up and done the task, I feel accomplished and I remembered the reasons why I set the schedule this way. My sleepy brain was not to be trusted!
Remember, even if other things seem more interesting and urgent, your plan was for getting done what was important and mattered most to you. Keep your commitment to you. When you do that, you grow in your relationship with you and learn to trust and rely on yourself. That more than anything else, is worth the practice. When you know you can trust you to come through on your promises and your commitment to you is solid, you don’t worry that you’ll let yourself down or give up on you. That gives you a peace and confidence that you just don’t have when you aren’t sure that you’ll do what you say you will.
I have big plans for 2020. The reason why I tried this calendar work is because while I know that I’m efficient now, I will need to level up to get done what I’m planning. And I also get distracted by Etsy and Amazon and Facebook and email and all kinds of things I’d rather be playing with than getting my work done. I’m really good at justifying my Amazon shopping when I should be doing work because I’m saving myself a trip to the store, right? But when I see the time on the calendar that I’ve set aside for a task ticking away because I’m fooling around, that just doesn’t sit well with me. Time is like money – I have an amount to spend and it’s a resource. I think it’s more important than money, because I can’t make more time. So I value my time and want to spend it wisely. Getting the week planned out took a chunk of time, but especially as I finish my exam prep and get ready to travel to sit for the exam, the extra efficiency this week has already been helpful. So I’m going to keep it going!
Do you have a way to manage that keeps you on task? How do you manage your mind when it wants to take you off the plan? How are you with keeping commitments to yourself? Please share in the comments below!