This is the question I’ve been asking myself a lot recently. It’s been nuttier than usual lately, with the end of the year, transitions at home, ballet concerts coming up, visiting family, finalizing summer plans, etc. In addition to all the happenings, my to-do lists are growing lists, my sticky notes are having babies, and I have all these projects that I want to finish. Normal life, right?
My current sticky notes…
But that’s not the problem. Not really. The problem is that I feel like I’m going nowhere. I’m running as hard as I can and it seems like at the end of the day, I’ve added two or three things for every one thing I’ve gotten done. It’s incredibly frustrating! And when I get frustrated, look out. I’m snappy and short-tempered and not fun to be around. I don’t even like me like this, so when I see this happening, something’s got to change. In the moment though, it’s hard to know what to do to get back to my sunny self.
Not so sunny…
Here are some of the things I’m working on right now:
- Writing a Food As Medicine talk
- Researching therapeutic essential oils
- Reading Thoreau and Gandhi
- Creating a girl’s sex education curriculum
- Learning more about reiki healing
- Building my nutrition counseling files
- Organizing the kids’ summer curriculum
- Revamping my office space/pantry
- Figuring out how to do my own YouTube channel
What do I want? When there’s too much to do and I want to do it all and it can’t all be done, I have to choose. My sanity can’t take doing it all. My family certainly can’t take me trying to do it all. And I’m miserable trying to wear that “S” on my chest. My main problem is that when I have lots to do, I run myself into a tailspin. See, when I have something I’m supposed to do, because of my educational training and the way I was raised, I want to get it done immediately. Until it’s finished, I feel like something is hanging over my head. And usually, that’s a pretty good incentive for me to get moving and get it done. BUT, when it’s a huge bunch of stuff, or a really big thing with lots of pieces, since I can’t get it all done at once, I freeze. The fear gets me immobilized – fear of doing a mediocre job, missing a deadline, completely being unprepared for whatever I’m doing. So I do nothing. And the fear and anxiety grow.
Every time this happens, I ultimately end up in the same place: face down, desperately praying to God for help. Once I do that, things come together. So I’m going to write down how things come together well, both so I can remember for next time and also so that it might help you when you’re feeling crazy busy and overwhelmed.
Praying hard.
Pray first.
Really, I make this mistake over and over. I try to get everything done, I get frustrated, I run out of ideas and plans and then I go pray. If I’d pray first and listen to what I need to be doing instead of what I think I should be doing, I’d be able to move with a clear intention and a calm spirit instead of making a scattershot approach to the situation and getting nothing done. For example, when I finally asked what I needed to do to get the Tea Talk moving, God said to first make the outline of the talk. As soon as I could see it come together, my anxiety fell off and the plan was exciting and fun again.
One bite at a time.
Have you heard that question, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!” But that’s true, right? You can’t do everything all at once. So when I’m feeling like I’ve lost my grip on the situation, I have to write it all down and take it piece by piece. Sometimes, instead of doing something, I have to pause and plan. Then I can go forward much more efficiently and quickly. Even though I’d rather knock my whole list out in one shot, it’s still satisfying to cross off one thing at a time. And if I’m making steady progress, eventually it does all get done!
Get your butt in the chair.
That’s one of my favorite sayings: “Sometimes, you just have to get your butt in the chair.” Sometimes, that’s the entire problem. I’m in such a tizzy over not getting anything done, that I’m distracted by everything that goes in front of me. The kid’s socks on the floor. The stuff I need to take to Goodwill. The new recipe I want to try. The sticky thing that just appeared on the kitchen floor. Of course, that all needs to be done right now, even though I know I only have an hour before my brain shuts off for the night. And how do I feel after all that? Right, more frustrated and anxious, because I just lost another evening that I needed to get the important things done. And since some nights are work, one is church, and there are nights I need to do the girls’ hair, I can’t afford to just lose a night when I have things to do. So I have to get in the chair and do the work. Funny thing, once I prayed and knew what I was supposed to do, when I sat down to write my Tea Talk outline, it took 20 minutes to get the first draft done. And it was good! I was so excited after I got it done, I was ready to do some more.
The chair I need to be in…
Now that I’ve gotten more clear about what to do first and what to let go (for now!), I feel better. I’m more calm and focused. And actually, now it’s feeling like I’m making progress! So, all I have to do now is remember what to do the next time the tidal wave of life feels like it’s going to take me over…
What do you want? How do you cope when you feel overwhelmed by all the things you have to do? Please share in the comments below!