Have you ever looked back over a year or two in your life? How about five years? Ever look back over a decade?
I almost never look back over the time that’s past in my life. It’s always go, go, go, from one thing to the next. Even when there are big milestones like graduations, my wedding, passing boards, I’ve been generally more focused on what’s to follow than where I’ve been or how I arrived to this place. Really, I think it’s almost abnormal how future minded I am. It seems like something I’ve decided to be proud of, like my mentality keeps me moving into more success and accomplishment, as if constantly moving on is the way I keep from being lazy.
But when I don’t take the time to experience the milestones, when I’m rushing through my life, I’m not actually living my life. I’m living in the future, which never actually arrives. I was listening to a podcast recently where the creator did a decade in review of her life and business and I thought, Wow – where was I ten years ago? How much has changed? You know, sometimes I can’t remember what I did yesterday, so my brain immediately tried to stop me from even trying to remember the past ten years, telling me I wouldn’t be able to remember that far back! But when I gently asked my mind to think back over these last ten years, some very interesting things started to come up. Let me tell you what I remembered…
Ten years ago, I hadn’t gotten to the big 4-0 yet. I was working full time as an OB/GYN and was mostly trying to figure out how to juggle work and raising a three year old and 1 year old twins. I had just gotten off the pregnancy weight after losing all my weight the first time when the oldest was a toddler. I hadn’t done any holistic nutrition training yet and we were still going through the drive through at McDonald’s after church for chicken mcnuggets for the kids because I was overwhelmed trying to feed three hungry little ones after service. I was still breastfeeding the twins. My medical practice was based completely in one county (instead of several like it is now).
We hadn’t started homeschooling yet. The kids were home with a wonderful nanny, and I was on call for 24 hours once a week at a hospital that was three minutes from my house. Since that time, our practice has been at three new hospitals, the latest one an hour and a half from my house in the Atlanta traffic. Back then, I had never done yoga and I didn’t know a thing about meditation, other than to think it was some impossible zen practice I’d never do. I hadn’t begun my grateful list, and I really didn’t know what a gratitude practice would do to change my life. This blog wasn’t even a thought in my mind. Ten years ago, I was finished having babies, my career was on rails (I thought!), and I figured that my husband could go back to school or expand his bible teaching or change jobs or do whatever he wanted, because I was finished changing things for me. Now all I had to do was figure out how to raise these babies!
Obviously, more than that happened over this decade. Now I have a teenager! I also had another baby, who we decided was a miracle gift from God to give my son a brother (the kids reminded me that we called him “Max”). After the ultrasound, we changed her name to Anora, because “Max” didn’t really fit our last baby girl. She’s a little light that I wouldn’t have predicted if you’d asked me about having another baby ten years ago. She’s a reading, talking, scooter riding whirlwind, and I can’t imagine life now without her!
Not to state the obvious, but I did start writing this blog, and I’ve had a weekly post out for the past three or so years – absolutely an accomplishment celebrate! I also completed my holistic nutrition health coaching certification and passed my Lifestyle Medicine boards. Meditation is a daily practice and I even have taught several classes on spiritual meditation to women at church. I do yoga and I walk outside most days of the week to keep my mind and body sane. I’ve grown as a coach and as a physician surgeon. We’ve now been homeschooling for 8 years and even with all the ups and downs and challenges, I’m so grateful that we have! Ten years ago, I had an sweet elderly dog that I adopted when I started medical school. She was my first (and I thought my last!) dog. Now we have a nine month old golden doodle puppy who follows me around whenever I’m home and boy, do I love her too!
In the past 10 years, my husband and I have weathered a job layoff, the loss of grandparents, and a third high risk pregnancy. We’ve also been able to visit the Amalfi coast of Italy, Barbados, and enjoyed a skiing trip in Denver. Our kids started going to overnight camp, and we’ve spent those weeks in the past few years kid-free. That’s something I couldn’t imagine ten years ago. We’ve gone through two major home improvement projects: We finished our basement to use (at least partly) as a classroom, and we replaced our deck with a sunroom (that doubles as my personal zen space and gets used WAY more than the deck ever did). So even our house looks different than when we moved here thirteen years ago!
My new green baby!
So many things happen in our lives, and with the speed we move it’s easy to miss it. I often feel like the things I want to see happen are moving with glacial speed and I want them to hurry up and happen already! If we don’t take time to acknowledge the events and accomplishments in our lives, they can pass by while we’re looking ahead to the next thing. Just sitting down to think about what happened in my life in the past decade has been therapeutic for me: I feel less rushed and hurried about getting the next thing done when I realize all the life I’ve lived, even just looking at the past 10 years. I can move forward with anticipation and confidence that what is coming is exactly what is meant to be, and while I don’t know all the details, it will be beautiful and hard and exactly what I need to become who I will be.
Have you ever done a decade-in-review? What happened to you in the last decade that you’ll remember forever? Please share in the comments below!