I’m ready.

 

It’s been more than three years since I started dreaming about moving into a career of integrative and holistic health. I know this because I spent part of one day this week reading back through my old journal. It was kind of jarring to read the dates with my writing. It really doesn’t feel like it was that long ago that I was on a prayer walk hearing the Spirit move me in this new direction…

At the same time, come on already! What exactly is the holdup and why aren’t I a social media phenomenon or a TV personality, teaching all about wellness, balance, and the synergy between traditional and alternative medicine? In print, it does seem a little off to think that kind of shift should happen instantly. But in my mind, it makes perfect sense! I can see it, I know what I want it to be, but it’s not here yet. So I’m often impatient and frustrated with myself, which leads to internal criticism and negativity. Not helpful at all.

 

Nope.

 

But when you have a vision for something, it doesn’t seem to happen fast enough. Have you ever felt that way? You know what you want and you’re working at building it, but the parts are coming together very slowly, like building a brick wall the old fashioned way: One brick at a time, laying the mortar between by hand. I want an instant skyscraper!

Or, somedays I feel like I’m not moving at all. Do you remember the scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off when he convinces Cameron that they could reverse the odometer on the sports car they “borrowed” from his dad by jacking up the car and running it in reverse? I can be so busy running around managing the kids’ stuff, work stuff, and household stuff, that I feel like that car just running and going nowhere.

 

Here’s some good news though! I learned something important this week. How? This week, I actually took my day off. Usually, I run errands and grocery shop or get into the kids’ day. But my in-laws were in town, and the kids were going out with them on an adventure. So I carried my fold-up chair out to the lake pier in our neighborhood and sat. For almost two hours, I just sat there, listening. When the rain sent me home, I closed the doors to our sunroom and meditated, did yoga and journaled. By the end of the day, I felt clear, centered, and ready.

Ready for what? I don’t know exactly, yet. But that was the question that came during my yoga practice: Are you ready? And while I have no idea what is my next step (do any of us really know that?), I felt a shift in my being that I know is where I need to be for whatever is coming.

 

 

 

 

I’m getting clear that there is no instant anything, that everything has to be built. But the speed at which the construction happens isn’t the point. It’s building what you’re here to build. How do you figure out what that is though? Here are a few things I’m learning…

 

When you are meant to create something, it doesn’t always happen on your schedule.

My timing is not necessarily the right timing, as much as I’d like to think it is. Sometimes, certain things have to happen to prepare you for the work you’re here to share. Yes, that sounds all mysterious and woo-woo, but I don’t have to know how it all comes together to know that when it does, it makes sense when you look back. You’ve had that happen. So if you are clear on your path but you feel behind, maybe what you need is to breathe and reflect. You might be surprised at how far you’ve come!

 

Just because I feel like I’m standing still, it doesn’t mean I am.

Often when I look at where I am, I’m looking from the perspective of where I am to where I want to be. I rarely look back at where I’ve been. So because I’m not where I want to be, I think I’m not making any progress. The truth is that I am moving forward, just one step at a time instead of in great leaps. I need to look back and reflect, to process the changes that have happened, however small. And when I remember to do this, it helps me to appreciate the changes and growth I’ve made. It’s small steps, over and over that add up to big change over time. I don’t have to make a big leap – I just have to keep making the small steps, again and again.

 

Busy doesn’t mean progress.

Just because I’m running at top speed, cleaning and organizing and checking things off my list, it doesn’t mean that I’m actually going anywhere. I have days where I don’t sit down for more than five minutes at a time all day. You know the days where your legs ache from constant standing and moving? Doesn’t mean I made progress. Some days I feel very accomplished because I checked a bunch of stuff off my list, but actually, I didn’t move any closer to my dream, because I was so busy. I didn’t make any time for it! Getting closer to my dream takes my intention, my time, and my discipline to work at it, even in the midst of the busyness. It might be carving out 15 minutes for yoga in the morning, or ten minutes for a consistent daily meditation practice. Maybe it’s writing a few pages or researching the project you want to complete. So what if you don’t get it all done by next week? A little each day (or week, or month) is what will get you there.

 

Building a dream takes both creativity and execution.

If you have been given a dream, you have been blessed. It is a gift to have a vision of something beautiful to create and inspire others. And if it’s going to be something wonderful, it needs love and care and nurturing to flourish. It won’t grow without your mind and heart allowing it to expand. But, if you leave it in your mind, it won’t come to life. It’s like a garden that you plant but don’t water and weed. Nothing you plant will survive. In the same way, your dream needs your attention and work. You must put something into your dream for it to become real. It can be a little at a time, but you have to do something.

 

 

Where are you in building your dream? It is possible that you haven’t stopped running long enough to even figure out what you are here to do. And I get it, it’s really hard sometimes to make space to breathe, much less dream. But you need to dream. You are here to be and become something unique and beautiful, something no other person can be because they aren’t you.

Or, maybe you have a dream but feel like you haven’t moved even one step closer to it. You’re so focused on the day to day stuff  that you haven’t started toward the goal. You need to take those baby steps.

Maybe you’re one of those people who’ve made steps toward your dream. You’ve created, built, worked and dreamed, but you feel like you’ve just not gotten “there” yet. You might be like me, thinking that there’s a destination to get to and everything on the way is just the scenery. But there is value in the scenery. Your life is in the scenery. Enjoy this moment right now.  Then breathe, reflect, and enjoy your progress. You’re moving! Then get back to work – we need what you have to offer!

 

Back at it…

 

Where are you in building your dream? Have you found it yet? Are you still looking? Or are you taking baby steps closer to the dream? Please share in the comments below!