It’s been a full couple of weeks! I started a couple of weeks ago feeling excited and expansive about movement and shifts in my life, then I got downright sensitive last week talking about emotions. That was emotional all by itself! But now, I think it’s time to ramp things up. It’s time to get help…

 

Ta da!

 

What? Why? That’s what I tend to think when anyone suggests that I might need help. Who me? Superwoman, need help? Never! Don’t you see this “S” on my chest? All kidding aside though, somewhere deep down I think I should be able to do everything and figure myself and my needs out all by myself. And with time and space, lots of prayer and effort, and mostly lots of grace, I would move forward in the direction I am meant to go. But what if I had help making that move? How would that change things for me?

 

The first time I remember thinking about therapy of any kind was sometime in grade school. My mom, who has a Master’s degree in social work, felt that our family could benefit from some counseling as my brother and I were nearing adolescence. I don’t really remember why – it’s all kind of fuzzy at this point. What I do remember is this – it was private. This wasn’t something we would be sharing publicly outside of our family. For some reason, I remember there being shame associated with seeking counseling. Even now, I feel as though I’m sharing a secret and shouldn’t be.  But why? What is it about getting help with our lives that’s shameful? Are we really supposed to figure it all out on our own?

 

Hanging on by my fingernails…

 

Even in my work as a physician, the topic of getting help for our physical body is more easily accepted than getting help for our mind and spirit. If I want to see a counselor or psychiatrist, there’s a special provision to see someone outside of our healthcare organization. I know, some of that is to allow for professional privacy and comfort so that I could talk to someone that I won’t bump into in the stairwell at the office. There’s more to it than that though – seeking help seems to be like a private failing. Even in my patient’s charts, the visits to any mental health care provider are shielded so other providers can’t read them. Now, I’m glad we provide privacy for our patients and want people to feel free to share their deepest concerns without fear of exposure, but it just reminds me that we don’t see our emotional and mental needs the same way we see physical ones, even though many times they are very related.

 

Where’s all this coming from? A few weeks ago, I went on a spiritual yoga retreat with about 15 other women. We spent time in meditation and learning about energy and chakra balance and spent time thinking and sharing about the things that hold us back. I spent a lot of time examining some negative beliefs I’ve made in my own mind about myself that are untrue and need to be dismantled.  Originally when I found out I was able to go on the retreat, I was really excited. A lake house, organic vegan food by my friend the chef, yoga and meditation – sounds relaxing and fun! And while that part was fun, there was a lot of work done in those two days. When I drove away, I realized that there was even more work to be done. A lot more…

 

Working it out in my journal

 

So, I spent some time praying and meditating about how overwhelmed I felt with all that had come up over the weekend. I knew I needed to do some changing in order to grow into the space I want to go to next in my life. But I didn’t know where to start, what to do.  What came to me was this: You need to accept help. Remember the “S” on my chest? I don’t really like to take it off, so I didn’t love the idea of getting help. I know this though: I can keep trying to figure this out mostly on my own, or I can accept the help I need to help me leap forward. I know that I have learned so much through my relationships with God and my friends and family. But having an objective person to help me go where I need to go is a gift. I think God sends us that kind of help too. So now I’m meeting with a coach who is helping me to sort out my focus, my needs, my weaknesses and my power. And it feels good to have the help!

 

It’s a good thing to have support, whether it’s informal friend counseling, prayer partners, or more experienced married couples helping in your marriage. Formal help can be incredibly powerful as well, whether in the form of a coach, reiki energy healer, counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist. The point is, we are human, not machines.  It’s ok to need and get help, even without a crisis. I’m getting my help to heal and move forward, and there’s no shame in that. You might find that getting the help you need helps to move you ahead in the direction you want to go.

 

 

Where do you want to go? Would getting support assist with moving you there? Do you feel shame when you think about seeking help and if so, why? What do you think about getting help in your life? Please share in the comments below…