Ever feel like you’re running on a hamster wheel? Just round and round and going nowhere?
It happens. A lot, it seems in my life. And I know that it’s generally because of how I live. Work, kids, activities, projects – it’s a lot of things to do, and that can make the pace of life feel very fast. But I contribute to the problem because I focus on all those things to be done, and I make lists, and I push to always be completing some task. And I usually get away with it, because the normal ebbs and flows of life give me a little time to breathe and catch up. A Saturday to sleep in, a date night out, an evening watching a show on TV, these can all be a little break in the rushing around. But every so often, the pace picks up, things get a little crazy, and I start to feel like I’m losing my grip on my situation.
Here’s an example for you. A few weekends ago it was my turn to work at the hospital. I do about a weekend a month, and I pray every time for mercy and some sleep when I’m working overnight. And sometimes I do get to sleep. But this particular Friday night I was up all night seeing patients and answering calls. That phone rang every 5 to 30 minutes and that is NOT an exaggeration. By the morning, I wanted to throw it across the room just to see it splinter into tiny pieces. Suffice it to say, when I got home Saturday morning, I wasn’t fit for human consumption. I crawled in the guest room bed, pulled the covers over my head, and slept all day. I got up to go out for dinner, and that was the end of that day. I went back to work on Sunday. Of course, that means I got nothing done at home all weekend.
So I lost a weekend. So what? It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it was. If I can’t play some catch up on the weekend, I start the next week behind. So then the next week felt rushed and busy. I felt like I was rushing all the time, and not getting enough. In addition to being behind, my teacher was off for a few weeks and my babysitter got sick, so we were without childcare for a few days. So we patched together what we needed to keep the kids taken care of, but without that support at home, I got even more behind. It was a snowball effect.
By the middle of last week, I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to sit down and write a post. In order for me to write I need a little time and breathing room to be creative, and that just wasn’t going to happen. Last week also was short because we left town Thursday to drive to our family reunion in Virginia Beach, so after work all I could manage to do was get the girls’ hair braided and finish the packing. I still forgot my razor and my hair scarf.
Now we’re back, no one has gotten enough sleep, I’m hormonal, and I’m in desperate need of a reset. Anyone got an easy button? Seriously though, sometimes starting over seems like a really good idea. If there was a way to clear the slate, I’d do it. I hate that feeling of more things hanging over my head to do than I think can get done! The thoughts “I’ll never catch up, I’m always behind, I’m drowning in all the stuff that needs to be done” – they just make me miserable. Did you catch that? The way I think about the things I need to do makes me unhappy. It’s not actually what I’m doing, or who I’m doing them for, or even how many things there are to do in the time I have. It’s how I’m thinking about it all.
And here’s the reality: There will always be things to do. There may come a time in my life where it’s not so frenetic, but it’s not now. So how do I work against my brain that wants to remind me how hard it is to get everything done? It’s a discouraging thinking pattern I’ve worn in my brain for many years. But it can be undone! It takes conscious effort to practice a new pattern of thinking. You have to recognize the thought, understand that it’s just a thought and not necessarily the truth, and you have to choose to begin thinking differently. For me, a thought I find much more helpful is, “I have enough time to do everything I need to do today.” That thought doesn’t tell me I have to get everything done today, just that I have enough time to do what needs doing today. It’s true, it’s calming, and it’s motivating.
BUT – in order to be best able to retrain my brain, it’s best if I’m feeling well. So when things get a little nutty, these are some things I do to reset myself so I can be better going forward…
Get enough sleep.
Seriously. When we’re tired, it’s like dragging ourselves through quicksand all day. It’s just a grind. Everything is harder than it should be, because all we want to do is make it to bedtime. Lack of sleep sucks the joy out of the moments that we could appreciate if we weren’t so doggone tired. A century ago, the average person was sleeping 9 hours a night. Today, the average is 7 hours a night. And I bet you can think of many nights you’ve logged fewer than that. Another fun fact: sleeping 6 hours a night for 14 consecutive nights is equivalent to your body (and brain!) to missing an entire night of sleep. It’s not a good place to try to live from, and for most of us women who are the caregivers, it’s a tough place to give from. Giving from exhaustion requires a nearly herculean effort of will, which just can’t be done on a routine basis. You must take care of yourself too, which includes getting enough sleep!
Exercise
This is usually the first thing to go. I exercise in the mornings because I’m generally too tired at night to do it, and because I just don’t seems to get to it if I don’t do it early. But if I don’t sleep (see above!), then I don’t want to get up early enough to exercise. And when I say exercise, I don’t mean an hour of cardio or getting to the gym before work. If you can get in a 15 minute YouTube free weights video, or a 20-30 minute yoga DVD or online class, that’s great! That’s what I’ve gotten in this week, and it helped keep my back from hurting so I could run around all day. I also get the benefit of feeling like I did something good for me that day, even if there’s still a lot to do. And exercise does make you feel better. It seems like it’s optional, but you’ll be happier if you get this in your day. A caveat: I don’t recommend exercise within 2-3 hours of bedtime. It can disrupt the quality of your sleep if it’s too close to bedtime. Early is best, but factor that in your plan so you can get the best possible sleep too!
Eat Well
Whenever I work all night, I notice that the next day I crave sugar. I want to eat cookies and chips and cake and doughnuts and – well, you get it. It’s my body screaming for quick energy. But it’s the wrong thing to do. I know it, but my brain doesn’t always get in line. So I have to make a plan and stick to it, even though the cupcakes the girls made look like a really good idea. They’re not. Almost ever. But a fresh green salad doesn’t take long to throw together, especially if you buy a few cartons of prewashed greens. Chop some carrots and peppers and celery and cucumbers (or whatever fresh veggies you like) and keep it in the fridge. When it’s time to eat, cook up your protein and add fat (creamy dressing, avocado, olive oil). You can also cook up some veggies in grass fed butter or ghee to increase the good fat on your plate. That’s a meal to satisfy your hunger, keep your energy levels stable, and keep you from grabbing the next cookie that crosses your path!
That’s it. At least, that’s a good start toward getting back on track when I’m getting overwhelmed. It’s my “Back To Basics” approach. One thing I didn’t do: watch TV. It’s so tempting when the kids are finally in bed to breathe a sign of relief and grab the remote. It’s a trap – don’t do it! Two things happen almost every time. One, you get sucked into a show and stay up later than you meant to. Then you don’t get enough sleep, you don’t get up to exercise, you don’t have time to meal prep, etc. And two, you wake up the next morning realizing that you lost another night that you needed to get things done. The TV stole it! So I just don’t go into the basement where the TV lives. We just can’t be together until I plan time for it.
What about you? How do you get yourself reset when you get off track? Please share in the comments below so we can help each other be our best!
Come back next week when I share some of my favorite shortcuts for eating well with very little time. See you soon!